Welcome!

This collection of songs is really a personal journal. I had to do it, even if just for me. Maybe there’s someone else who will find some bread on this table set with raw desire for purity, and the struggles that sometimes come from setting your goals and dreams high enough to have to fight for them. I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop me a comment on any of the songs if there’s something that you’d like to share. Or send me an e-mail. LOVE to chat with you.

Jealous

Jealous ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ You are a Jealous God ~ You will not settle ~ For half my heart ~ You are a Jealous God ~ You will not settle ~ For half my heart ~ So I become a buyer of pure gold ~ Found in the fire ~ And in the flames ~ You refine my heart’s desires ~ I am a seeker ~ I will not settle ~ For half Your heart ~ I am a seeker ~ I will not settle ~ For half Your heart ~ And You become the treasure I search for ~ Everywhere I go ~ And when I find You ~ I’ll hold You and will not let You go ~ You are a jealous God ~ You will not settle ~ For half my heart ~ I am a seeker ~ I will not settle ~ For half Your heart ~ Cause You’re after my heart ~ Like I’m after Your heart... ~ Scripture says, “the LORD has sought for Himself a man after his own heart”, and He found it in the life of a young boy named David. Has His desire changed? Does He not still seek after individuals who will wholeheartedly chase after Him? This song has two trains of thought, and it’s really helped me allot to put them together. One is the fact that some of us are God and don’t want to settle for crumbs of religion, but want a feast of intimacy: we want a deeper walk with Him. The other is that God passionately desires our hearts and years for all of us. He doesn’t want us “just on Sundays” or just part of our devotion. He wants it all, just as a Lover desires the whole heart. When I was a teenager, I used to think about how much I wanted God and desired to be close to Him. It seemed to far away and such an unattainable goal. But sometimes the desire was stronger than I could bear. There were a few key people in my life that said, “Rebecca, as much as you want God, HE WANTS to walk with you! It’s not unattainable. He desires it too! Seek after Him with your whole heart because He will give Himself to you in the way you desire. He will fill you, and He wants to.” That was an amazing thought to me. So, this song aspires to capture that dance of a seeker. God seeking us and us seeking God. The bridge says, “You’re after my heart like I’m after Your heart.” A friend of mine said, “How could my seeking of God ever attain to the measure that He seeks us?” But it’s not about measure… it’s about seeking. The longing that He has for us is the same type of longing that we have for Him. Not in comparison. Probably very few of us would send our son to die like the Father did… though Abraham experienced this very thing. I hope this song will spur us on to seek Him more! Hebrews 11:6

Pure

Pure ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ I lay on the altar all that I hold dear~ Your love has brought me here ~ To lay my life and all that I treasure ~ To be tried by fire ~ Will You listen to me ~ Will You hear my cry? ~ Chorus ~ Pure, I wanna be pure ~ I wanna be gold ~ Tried in the fires of holiness ~ Clean, I wanna be clean ~ I wanna be clean ~ From all the darkness of my flesh ~ Cause all I really want is You ~ Is You, Jesus ~ All I really want is You ~ Separate me unto You ~ No idols ~ Saturate me, Lord, with You ~ Oh this is what it takes to be ~ Pure… ~ I hope this song captures a little of David’s heart… so often we see in the Psalms how his passion for holiness and purity flows into His music. Even when he messed up, he came right back and cried out for it again. Maybe this is what happens when we catch a glimpse of God. We go from the “dos and don’t list” of what we should and shouldn’t do to this passion rising up within us for God and the desire to be like Him. Once you really have a good dose of seeing Him, you are either repelled or drawn. Purity to me is not so much a “works thing”, which keeps a list and evaluates if you are pure by your conduct. This is so important!! We are ONLY pure because of Jesus, and we STAY pure by following closely to Him. Jesus said to Peter that He washed the disciples with His Word and they only needed to wash their feet daily. I worked for a short time at an outdoor dragstrip for car racers. It was an August in Arkansas where the heat made it too warm for tennis shoes and so flip flops were essential… but boy did that dust cling to your feet after a full day in the sun! I imagine it was the same in Israel. It was your feet that got caked with dirt from being in the sun all day, not your whole body. And Jesus was showing us that we may be clean because we have been washed and saved by His Spirit, but when we’re walking in this world “dust” tends to stick to us during the day and we need to spend time with Him daily to wash off that daily residue. I wrote this song because this world is so anti-purity. And sometimes I just want to stand on a rooftop and shout, “Enough! I have chosen to live pure, and I am going to do so! Leave me alone!” Smile, but this song is a declaration of desiring purity.

Psalm 23

Psalm 23 ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ I look around me ~ I see the empty ~ All around me ~ I see the bleeding ~ But I see You ~ And hope pierces the dark ~ And I find cover ~ In Your arms ~ Chorus ~ And You lead me ~ By green pastures ~ You lead me ~ By still waters ~ And in the midst of the war ~ You spread a feast ~ Is it any wonder ~ I call You king ~ I hear the thunder ~ I see the night closing in ~ But that’s You calling me ~ Further up and further in ~ And I see You ~ You take my hand ~ And lead me on ~ Into the quiet room ~ In they eye of the storm ~ Chorus ~ And even through the valley of shadows ~ You lead me past the empty grave ~ And I will rise like the eagle ~ And I will not be afraid~

Wrote this song sitting at my Dad’s house and wrestling with the notion that I was a horrible writer and couldn’t write a worship song! Seems like congregational “church songs” should be so simple to write and come easy. Ha. So finally I gave up and just wrote what flowed. And this is what came. Tweaked and polished some more a bit later, and decided it was worth keeping… even if it wasn’t what I had originally started to write!

In Love

In Love ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ I’ve been kissed by the King ~ I’m awake from my dream ~ My Prince came for me ~ Broke the curse, set me free ~ Chorus ~ And I am so in love with You ~ Who wouldn’t be, Who wouldn’t be? ~My eyes have seen Your beauty ~ Who wouldn’t be, who wouldn’t be ~ In love ~ I’ve been bought with a price ~ I have given up my life ~ To the heart of the King ~ Who gave Himself for me ~ Chorus ~ And Your wounded hands bring life to me ~ And the blood You shed has set my free ~ And I’m overwhelmed by mercy ~ And I love You, I love You… ~ Chorus ~ Snow White, yes. This song started out as a personal song of worship, and I decided I really liked it and worked for a while to craft it into a song that anyone “get”. Combined the analogy along with language that made it obvious , I hope, about Who I am talking about!! Yeah, I think just about everyone would fall in love with Jesus if we could just get a REAL glimpse of what He’s really like. All of our preconceived notions gone in an instant and the real LOVE of Christ in all it’s stunning beauty before us. Just as Solomon, we would be glad and honored to worship Him with everything we have and offer all we possess to Him. For Solomon it was 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep that were offered that day when the Glory of God filled the temple and everyone saw it. They just couldn’t give enough.

The Breaking

The Breaking ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ Chorus ~ It’s in the breaking ~ It’s in the crushing ~ From fallen flowers perfume flows ~ It’s in the fire ~ It’s in the heat ~ That You turn me into gold ~ It’s in the dying ~ That I’m finding ~ True life rising ~ Up in me ~ And I am torn in the making ~ But I am whole at the end ~ Of the Breaking ~ And You break me outta my arrogance ~ And You break me outta my foolishness ~ And all those dreams that sure made sense ~ But they never looked like You ~ And I feel Your love come over me ~ And I feel Your love wash me clean ~ Until there isn’t anything ~ That I wouldn’t do for You ~ Chorus ~ And You call me outta my selfishness ~ And You call me into Your holiness ~ Til the only thing that I have left ~ Is a passion for You ~ And I see You break the dawn for me ~ And I hear You singing over me ~ No more wandering ~ Cause I’ve found my place in You ~ So feel free to break me.... ~ Hmmm… just a life song. Think I wrote this song around the time I was having to lay down a dream and opportunity that I really wanted and really looked good, but I knew that it wasn’t God. So it was a breaking. We have to choose whether we are going to allow God to strip us from our intentions and personal ambissions so that we can have His best. It’s something that often will happen anyway. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a dream, it will eventually leave us empty anyway. So it’s up to us whether we let go now, or it’s torn from us later. David said, “It was good for me that I have been afflicted that I might learn Your statues“ and “… You in faithfulness have afflicted me.” Ugg. No fun. I also wrote this song when my landlords were having the house repainted and stripped. There was a constant banging and scraping and pulling off the old paint so that the new could be applied. Often at the early morning hours. And they knocked a wasp nest inside the wall and then found their way into my house. And used rough language. I played Jason Upton music loudly and tried not to startle them when I had to walk out the door and they were painting the doorframe. “****! We didn’t know there was anyone in there!” I sang and with my guitar amidst the bangs. They heard it (how embarrassing) and I gave them a CD. Lol. But the house looks great now!! I am torn in the making, but I am whole at the end of the breaking. Mystery of God. He breaks us to reshape and bless us at the end.

Heart

Heart ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ Where has my heart gone ~ Thought I had a hold on it ~ But it ran away again ~ My heart has run away again ~ And I blindly followed ~ It snatched away my writing pen ~ And wrote my tomorrow ~ Chorus ~ Be careful of the theives ~ That walk through unguarded doors ~ Steal the treasure ~ That is Yours ~ Where has my heart gone ~ Thought I could keep it here ~ With bribes and promises ~ I was so wrong ~ Now I’m left standing here ~ With fallen stars and rusted gold~ Looking into my shattered mirror ~ Chorus ~ So, build me ~ Till my house is on a rock ~ And love me ~ Till my heart had enough ~ And I won’t run away ~ Ok, I love this song! It’s haunting melody and such is just cool to me… though a chilly sort of cool, because the theme is such a warning and happens so easily. Unguarded hearts are so quickly invaded. And in this day guarding means standing watch and doing lots of battle in front of the door to your heart. The culture invites war against all that is pure. The fun part is that I wrote most of this song when I was 12!! And it is the only one that has survived from that era! Grin, I started learning guitar because I got tired of practicing piano and the “funnest” way to play guitar was learn some basic chords and then make up your own. I pulled this out again and wrote a bridge to it. Maybe someday I’ll redo it and rewrite the verses to make them flow a little better. But I thought it would be fun to record it this way first. If I recall rightly, I wrote the words after watching a very sad episode of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman on TV in the early 90’s… Grin. Wrote the bridge this year because I think the tendancy people have to “run away” ~at least it’s true for me~ it because A) my foundation is not solid in Christ to where I end up following my emotions instead of what I KNOW is true and will come through long term, or B) because my heart is feeling low on love at the moment. When we are loved, really loved, it gives us the strength to stay. I am learning to pray, at moments of feeling like I should run from what I know to be true, “Lord, let me fall in love with You all over again.” His love keeps me.

Blind

Blind ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ Lead me ~ Savior, I am blind ~ I am blind ~ Lead me ~ Savior, I am blind ~ I am blind ~ Cause something has clipped my wings ~ And I’ve fallen hard in flight ~ But Your ground breaking symphony ~ Keeps calling me to the sky ~ Chorus ~ Lead me ~ Savior, I am blind ~ I am blind ~ I’ll follow You though the dark ~ Cause You’re the light ~ I drank from Your river ~ But then I followed my own path ~ But when my blind heart leads my blind feet ~ They lead me to my death ~ Chorus ~ Will You take me ~ Will You take me back ~ Father! ~ Will You take me ~ Will take me back ~ Cause I am Yours ~ Lead me ~ Savior, I am Yours ~ I am Yours ~ Lead me ~ Jesus, I am Yours ~ I’ll follow You though the dark ~ Cause I am Yours ~ This song can be taken two ways, and the first is probably not a way that most people would glean from the song. But I’ll share both. Psalm 25. I look at the life of David and find that He was a seeker to the end. He never quit seeking God, or felt like He had “arrived” at the place with God. He constantly said, “Lead me! Show me where to put one foot in front of another!” Dependence. The closer we come to Him, the more “blind” we get, where we cannot lean on our own understanding. I think that true faith is not, “Ok, let me do something for God and He’s gonna show up and make it all work because it’s done in His name!” No, God has not promised to show up and do that at all. It’s more, “Lord, what do You want me to do?” And if it’s a season of waiting, so be it. Or a season of training, or serving or whatever. And then when He does bring fruit, it’s often in such a way that we just sit back and go, “wow, that was You!” And we have to lean on Him all the more. But I guess what most people would glean from this song is that it was written from the point of the prodigal saying, “Boy I’ve messed up, and I realize that I am so blind and stupid on my own. I’ve learned the hard way and messed up. Can you forgive me?” And that, is of course, a true thought too. So I wrote the song with both of those thoughts in my head.

Eagles

Eagles ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ I’m gonna bind my heart to You ~ Even when it’s broken ~ I’m gonna cry all night to You ~ With words that can’t be spoken ~ Chorus ~ And as I wait on You ~ I’ll do what eagles do ~ You lift me on wings ~ To fly ~ (repeat) ~ I’m gonna dream big dreams for You ~ Even when they shatter ~ I’m gonna plant big seeds for You ~ Just knowing that they matter ~ Chorus ~ I may stumble as I walk ~ But I’ll remember if I fall ~ That Your hand is on my life ~ And You’ve promised me the sky ~ And I will walk and not grow weary ~ I will love will not faint ~ For the joy that’s set before me ~ Cause the best is worth the wait ~ Chorus ~ Well, I feel this way pretty often. I think it’s just an expression of believing in the “yet to come”. Yet still living in the present moment going, “Ouch, I don’t feel good. I have been doing the right thing and getting beat up and I sure don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. And I know God is faithful, but I’m really a wreck right now.” And it’s really just grit determination to keep making the small steps and endure. Being honest with the fact that my heart is broken, but binding it in all it’s brokenness to the feet of Jesus who promises to be faithful. And it’s gonna be worth it.

Battering Ram

Battering Ram ~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008 ~ My Praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ My praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ Jericho must crumble ~ There ain’t no way it can stand ~ Before a holy people ~ Whose God has chosen ~ To take this land! ~ My Praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ My praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ So shout! ~ For the battle is the Lord’s ~ And He has won! ~ He has won! ~ Hallelujah, hallelujah, ~ Hallelujah, the battle is the Lord’s! ~ My Praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ My praise is a battering ram ~ Against the lies of the enemy ~ This is totally a war song, and you either get it or you don’t. Grin. Two of my friends have said, “I can’t believe that you’re writing a song with the words, battering ram in it!” But then I keep running into people who I’ve played some songs for, and they say, “You know that ‘Battering Ram’ song just sticks in my head and I keep singing it!” So I decided to record it for posterity, if nothing else. This song took the loooooooooongest time to record and I did all these different arrangements because I thought they all sounded cheezy. Maybe I haven’t worked with it enough yet, but call it a work in progress! I wrote it while driving down the driveway to my dad’s house in the country. We were hosting some very special guests. Janet Rae Askins is an amazingly talented woman who plays the shofar. The chorus just started playing in my head, and when I got to dad’s house I sat down at the piano and hammered it out. The shofar in this song is the only music I didn’t play on this CD. Janet kindly offered to allow me to use a clip of her playing.

Audience of Angels

Audience of Angels~ Words and Music by Rebecca Friedlander © 2008~ I was waiting in a box~ For love to come along~ To lift the lid, lift my head~ And let me sing my song~ But in this world of strangers~ I learned to sing alone ~ And now when I praise Him~ I stand before His throne~ Chorus ~ With an audience of angels~ Tho’ no one can be seen~ The choirs of heaven~ Sing along with me~ Just like a flower grows ~ Where no one knows~ The place where it blooms~ With an audience of angels ~ I worship You~ So in my time alone with Him~ I’ve learned a sweeter song~ I never knew a multitude~ Was standing to applaud~ They breathe the woven praise~ That simple hearts can bring to You~ And it makes us love the One we love~ With reckless gratitude~ Chorus~ Bridge~ And if you can count the stars~ Then you can count the dancers~ That twirl to the praise~ That comes from the heart~ And if you’re tired of the quest~ Then you can have the answer~ Be free again~ Just sing for Him~ So I recorded a dozen or so songs to share with my friends and get their opinions on before I went into the studio. This is the only one that made it onto my next CD! Some of that was due to the fact that there was an unexpected amount of time between the recording of those rough track and when I actually started on this CD. And actually, a few of those first songs are going to be on an upcoming CD I’m doing with some other friends. But I really wanted to do this CD because of the story behind it, and the theme of the CD… About a year ago, I sang a song at a gathering of Christians and afterwards someone came up to me and said (in a nutshell), “I saw an angel come down be strengthened by the sound and worship that came from your song.” Of course, we have no idea how our worship really affects the supernatural. And isn’t it funny how often I, as a singer, long for bigger and better doors to open for music, when I may be singing to angels and affecting people and places that I never get to see? I was also thinking of a friend of mine who is in a wheel chair. She loves to worship the Lord in her kitchen! I was thinking of how precious her praise is to the Lord. Who’s to know whether the angels dance when she worships, or by her worship God is so captivated and all of heaven is moved in a way that an auditorium full of lights and cameras and action alone could never engage? All that is done on earth is completely visible and open in heaven. If we lived like we knew it, our lives would be much different, I think. Not only are the bad choices exposed in their entirety, but the good ones are all accounted and noted and nothing is unnoticed. Nothing. God is so merciful, any way that you look at it. I named the CD Audience of Angels because it seemed appropriate to sum up the theme: Live life before Your Father who loves you and is watching. Live it whether or not anyone else notices. Live it clinging to the truth that it matters. Seek it, fight for it, hold on to the dreams God gives, knowing that all the steps along the way are seen and noticed and remembered.